So i've really never felt so alone. It's like out went my boyfriend, and my best friend and I haven't spoken to them in. . i don't even know, over 4 weeks now. I really do feel like i have no one anymore. Not like i used too. not at all. one thing i have realized is, you need to keep moving on. and remember that you need to do things for yourself because no one else will. .
BEST ADVICE TO YOU GUYS:
find what you want to do in your life and go after it. don't let anyone get in the way of your dreams. do good in high school because getting away for college is EXACTLY what you want to do. take every opportunity presented to you and never take a moment for granted, laugh, cry, scream, dance, make friends, get drunk, try what everyone else is trying. . stand up in a crowded room and stick to what you believe in. never be shy. go out there and learn what you need to about high school to go the right way. staying in your hometown isn't the experience you want.
You have to make your own little pieces of magic, like
the room with the stars on the ceiling where
you could be in bed and look up at infinity.
When you stop fighting, you stop living, so find your
fight, then fight like hell until your battle is won.
As you get older there comes a time when you're not
scared of the dark or of monsters anymore. you realize
the dark is just the dark and monsters don't exist. but
it's also when you become scared of other things, people
themselves. you learn that not everyone wants to see
you succeed. you become aware of people's underlying
intentions and selfish actions. and the monsters you used to
check for under your bed at night don't
even compare to some of the things people do
It's not even the fact that you're not mine. it's
the fact that you led me on for all that time.
Sometimes, I want something terrible to
happen to me, just to see who would care.
My head says, "who cares"
but then my heart whispers, "you do stupid."
I don't care how I met you. All that matters is that I did.
If you're convinced you're not good enough, you'll
have a hard time letting someone into your life that thinks you are.
I don't even know what to think. I feel like I've held on
to you for too long, and people are getting annoyed
with me. They tell me i should get over you. But the
thing is, they dont see in you what i see. I see an amazing
person who cared for me so much. And all I want, is to have
that back. Believe me, I've tried to let you go, but it's just
like something is making me hold on for some
weird reason, and that reason is something I don't
understand. No one understands, and no one ever
will; because they don;t feel what i feel. It's
unexplainable. They just don't get it. I feel so alone
without you, because there's no one there to
full understand and make it all better.
